~:: JoM SaMa2 KiTa ::~

~Jom KLiK Cni ~

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

~::Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.. . Not just a feeling ::~

Tgh2 blogwlking hri ni tiba2 jmpa 1 artikel yg sgt best utk di share...
Oooppppppsssss...!!!!dont get me’s not that my marriage  is falling Cuma trtarik dgn artikel ni..very realistic and explains a lot of things happenning in a marriage...xprcaya? jom baca sampai habis...

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse / partner . You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept of my feet.' Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):


SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'.. . Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:
'God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

Yg ni plak extracted from dr Harlina Siraj’s FB page
Sangat menarik..and sangat tepat..maybe..boleh nilaikan sndiri kot J
Now, I'm proposing these five keys to wife's inner heart , at least MY inner heart. Still disputable though, you do not have to agree with this proposal :-))

1. She Needs  You to Express Your Feelings of Love in Words and Action
Convince her that she really matters
2. She Needs You to Lead her during Daily Prayers
Both of you need constant divine interventions to stay committed to each other
3. She Needs You to share the hardship of pregnancy, labour pain and breastfeeding
Appreciate her for all the trouble she has to go through to bear your off-springs
4. She Needs You to accept and respect her parents and family
Share your life with those she cares
5. She Needs Your Sincere Compliments on her natural beauty and glow
Seduce her with your kind words and gentle touch


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